Most of us persistently pretend to be okay. Don’t sweat it, me too. We are cognitively wired to believe that it's not okay to not be okay. That falling in a rut from time-to-time is monstrous. Society collectively being a big influencer on this, too. The constant, flooding pressure to always be perfect- to be something that you're not. Getting stuck in a rut isn't always a comfortable and safe feeling, but it's necessary for healing and reproducing who you've been taught and raised to be since you were brought into this world. Being sad is okay, starting over is okay, revamping every piece of who you are is okay, redesigning your DNA is okay and doing whatever it is that you need to do for yourself to heal properly is okay.
It is okay.
Healing is a formula; add what mends and fills you up, and subtract what hurts, diminishes and doesn't belong to you. We're all capable of acing such a thing. Recollect that you are not entitled to be anyone or anything but what and who it is you choose to be. We were not born with a list of to be's and not to be's, to do's and not to do's or where you should be going and where not to.
The person you want to be isn’t going to become that person by skipping over the person that you are right now. Allow yourself to ache, to feel, to process and then heal. Strip and detox yourself free of the gunk and toxins you’ve let take a toll on you, rebuild your spine sturdy of bravery, find comfort in your new constructed oddities and let your body be a flowerbed of lovely chaos. Never neglect your capacity to eternally dig new holes, plant fresh soil and water yourself endlessly with unconditional love and advanced power. Treat all of it like it's your full time job.
Be you, do you, reconstruct you and kick the you's to the curb that have something to say.